The feeling of adrift

I break into moments of sorrow and panic at being adrift.

I should have a plan. I should know where I’m going. I should research every country. I should know all the best activities I’d like to do.

I’m trying with all my mental strength not to succumb to this feeling. It’s terrifying, feels like I’m being judged by not just others but also myself. “You’re better than this, do better!”

But it’s experience that has taught me to lean into that uneasy feeling rather pull away. The same as an athlete recognizing good pain from bad, I realize that if I just push through I’ll learn from it, and that will make me stronger.

Uncertainty and fear of the unknown manifests itself many ways. Rebrand fear as excitement and break through.